So, two nights ago my partner and I were out getting food and he mentioned that when his sister first met me she said, “That girl is confused.” Granted, she was more perceptive than anyone could imagine. If he’d told me when she first said it I would have been really offended, but when he said it i was startled by how inept she was at the time. I had never imagined that it was so obvious. I suppose for most of my life I’ve assumed that:
1. no one ever noticed my dilemma
2. those that did, mistook it for something else.
But the fact is that my life has certainly left me confused and torn in so many ways. And although in context i could be hurt by what she said, I am not. The fact is it was true. Now I am trying so very hard for it to not be true. I assume that these six months at home are part of my awakening, and meant to be a time of discerning and searching.
I used to think I was so mature, primarily due to the many life-changing and borderline traumatic things I have experienced, but I realize that I have so much to learn, and so much more living to do to learn the things that are true of this life. Until next time,