Sometimes I close my eyes and see you.
Your smell floods my memory
And I feel the tears
Salty. Sweet. Reminiscing
My heart can’t bear this reality
She keeps asking if the connection was real
If she’d imagined it all
And some days I am able to persuade her
Many days, I cannot.
Today she is inconsolable
Reason cannot ease the pain.
The heart is a muscle
It’s memory is residual yet enduring
Subtle yet great
And everyday without you
my heart hides away
Afraid of misunderstanding
Uncertain of the weight.
Will today’s menu of memories be too heavy
The longing too consuming
Pulling me heart first into tears.
I try to stand steadfast in this blizzard of emotion
Despite the unending storm
The winter of our first solstice is approaching
And I must leave, before all of me is gone.