I imagine that i’ve bounced back from a lot things, and weathered a lot of things.
So I know what it’s like to feel pressed in a corner, and without options. So if you’re in a tough spot right now, I urge you to look up, look around, look in but do not close your eyes. The past few weeks (months even) have been challenging, but I assume that since my heart hasn’t stopped that I still have work to do.
Perhaps, I have in fact been neglecting the work that the Creator has assigned for me. I’ve gotten so caught up in the race to my next goal, my next paycheck, my next opportunity. I hardly recognize how things got so out of control. One moment I had my bearings, and the next I was lost in the wind, chasing after nothing.
Of course this wouldn’t be so unsettling if I wasn’t obsessed with always having a PLAN B.
Which is the central tenant of my feelings of being “stuck”. Now there are countless people telling me that, “this too shall pass” and that “things will get better” but I feel like that’s half of a band-aid. It is all quite overwhelming.
At my lowest I have wanted to walk into the ocean, or was it traffic. Neither quick, neither painless. It is difficult to see one side of yourself as fearless, and brazen and unbeatable and the other fragile, vulnerable, naked. All the while, society is constantly bearing down on you, “keep it together.” You have to smile, and you have to fight back the tears, you have to confront your insecurities day in, day out. It’s tiresome. You want so badly to be creative, and strong, and innovative. While inside, you struggle to wake up, to walk in faith, to write, to dream beyond your circumstance.
It’s hard to be optimistic, but sometimes you can’t even look to the future. You just have to be present in the fact that you’re still here. That leaves room for possibilities. If you’ve endured until now, then you can live now. Make one more day count. Get out of bed, if you can. If not, write all the things you’re feeling. Address what’s going on. Be able to explain how you feel, to yourself.
Be present in your struggle.
It’s not merely a phase to be sailed through. Have you seen a ship get through a storm that way? I doubt it. As much as possible, keep checks on your highs and lows, and take stock of your triggers, your weaknesses, and those who have supported you. Then over board with the things that are distracting you from your purpose.
No easy way out. No shortcuts. No abandoning ship. You are going to have to shift your way of thinking each day to survive, and ultimately that is the goal.
Reference: Acts 27