Father Your love is so perfect
It smiles radiantly down on me
Giving me hope to face the grey
The desperate confusion I have crawled away from
Seems only a misguided remark away
Everyday I talk through the negative feelings
And disengage the fear
Of failure
Of rejection
Of hopelessness
Of being alone
And my heart is raw from trying to earn the love of those who do not know me
Have only seen me
That blurry silhouette of assumptions
Longing endlessly to be cared for,
loved unconditionally
Cherished, for who I truly am
Almighty God, promise you will stay close please
Hold my hand in this thing
Keep me safe from wanting to find a home, make a home
Keep me safe from wanting things too pristine for me to hope for
Long regarded as too good to be true,
too sweet to be mine
Too beautiful for me to look at with any kind of concrete desire
Only good girls deserve good things
So many malicious things said without thinking
To Myself
To Others
To You
Father, forgive me.
Love refuted
Desire diluted
Waiting for refunds
Apologies overdue
Hope confused by gestures
Discussions void of promise in the wee morning hours
Naively entertaining folly
While losing my patience with dreamers
Afraid to touch my heart.
And now here we are,
Waiting on Your word.
We can’t move without your blessing.
We won’t go any further,
We can’t move unless you say that you have already walked there.
We’ve run out of reasons to do things our way.
Not that we haven’t tried,
but we’ve come too far and seen the disrepair of arrogance and vanity.
Father, forgive us.
Please help us to honor You.
In what we say, what we do.
Lead us in what is right, now and always.
When no one is looking, and we think we are alone.
Reveal the more remarkable way in us, and through us.
Let Your most excellent way shine true.
Sow a story that will stir those that have lost their faith.
A love that would raise up awe and wonder where there is indifference.
Love and forgiveness where hearts are icy cold.
Accept us, flawed and yet still yearning to please You.
Father, guide us Home
